It turns out I am a people hating, friend loving person.
One of my few friends pointed this out to me the other day. I don't mind that this is the way that people see me because, really, this is what I am.
The problem is, when one of my friends becomes too attention seeking I just can't handle it. I put up with it but it annoys me so much that sometimes I can be reduced to tears by it.
I have a friend who's name I am not going to mention. She claims to be a good singer and then goes and sings in front of the whole year after claiming that she was too scared and couldn't. She also seems to think that they all love her but I know that that isn't true, sometimes the things they say behind her back hurt even me. But there is nothing that I can do because she won't accept the help.
The attention seeking started years ago when she started self harming at about the age of 12. She kept showing off about it, like it was something to be proud of. She's now stopped that, I think, and is writing extremely depressing poems instead which I think annoys me more than the cutting because she expects me to say "I love them" and "My God, they're amazing" but I don't do lying.
So I feel that, in the rest of this year, she is the baggage I need to get rid of because she just uses me to make herself feel better and gives nothing in return.
I am, however, extremely thankful for the rest of my friends and I am just going to carry on ignoring the attention seekers of the world and move on in my life because I know that I'm going to turn out better than the rest of them.
